Why It's OKAY to Not Be Where You Thought You'd Be
If you had asked me 5 years ago where I thought I'd be now, my answer would have been completely different than what life looks like in reality. I probably would have said something about traveling the world, dating around, living my independent life with little responsibility.
Flash forward: I've done very little traveling, I'm married, I spend most of my time working my full time job and then I come home and work on my blog and schooling. Plus I'm paying a mountain of debt from grad school. These really limit my ability to live life with little responsibility.
What?
Five-years-ago me is cringing. I never thought I would be one to get married young. But I got swept off my feet and I've genuinely never been happier. That part I certainly got right. But for a long time I wrestled with the fact that I'm not living the life I always dreamed of.
I'm independent to a fault. When I think about my ideal life, I picture working for myself, being on my own schedule, and the financial and time freedom to travel when and where I want. Sounds pretty ideal, and for awhile seemed completely unattainable. But it's a huge reason why I started this blog in the first place.
Comparison is the Thief of Joy
Social media plays a huge influence in how we feel about ourselves. Typing it out makes it sound ridiculous. Why should my self worth have anything to do with what other people are doing? The best answer is that it shouldn't, but we're all guilty of comparison.
One of the top recommendations when starting a blog is to follow other bloggers who are doing what you'd like to do and learn from them. While that's decent advice, it put me in this terrible mindset of comparing my day 1 blog to people who've been doing this for years. I was absolutely paralyzed by that comparison. Something I wanted to do for fun suddenly seemed daunting.
It Took a Mindset Change
I started practicing gratitude and meditation as one of my August intentions and it truly has changed my perspective. Part of the gratitude journal I use has a space for daily affirmations. I started with easy things, like "I am capable of great things." But one day I wrote down "I am exactly where I need to be." It's been my daily affirmation every single day since.
Rather than living for the future, I started focusing on where I'm at now. Even though I'm nowhere close to where I thought I'd be -- or where I'd like to be -- I find myself feeling so much more content with where I'm at. And that contentment has allowed me to be more productive than ever before.
Moving Forward
My version of an ideal life is still far into the future. But for the first time in my life, I'm okay with that. I'm not rushing to get ahead or hoping that something will fall into my lap and change everything for the better. I'm putting my head down, putting in the work, and celebrating the small wins along the way.
If you take away anything from this "dear diary" moment, it's that it's okay to not be where you thought you'd be. It's also okay that you may not be where others want you to be. Celebrate where you're at, work toward where you'd like to be, and manifest the shit out of that ideal life.